Secret Window, Secret Boring
By: Naomi LiebsonWhen is Stephen King going to retire? The great hack writer of our time has done it again, and by done it again I mean released yet another insipidly boring film. Secret Window is based on one of Mr. King’s hundreds of best selling suspense novel, Secret Window, Secret Garden. I have not read this book, simply for it is by Stephen King and I can’t stand him. The basic plot is that novelist Mort Rainey (played by the lovely Johnny Depp) catches his wife cheating on him with another man, and naturally files for a divorce. Six months later he is in his lakeside cabin sleeping sixteen hours a day and being depressed. He encounters John Shooter (played by John Torturro) a Mississippi man who accuses him of plagarism. After that all hell breaks lose.
The only reason to see this film is for Johnny Depp, when I walked into the theater to see it almost empty except for women and one man that looked like he’d been dragged there by his wife. Mr. Depp gives a stunning performance as usual, if only the other actors actually came close to his performance. None of the characters seemed like they actually gave a damn about each other. And what’s more, why would an alcoholic writer from New York City live in the middle of nowhere? In surroundings that seem more from the boondocks of Kentucky than from the once chic surroundings of the Catskills.
The actual cinematography in Secret Window is mediocre at best. The director uses camera angles older than me. The script also is pretty bad, except for several lines by Johnny Depp that you can tell are ad libs.
Over all Secret Window is a mediocre film at best. If you want to scare me Mr. King you have to try harder. I give this movie a C-. Ah who am I kidding it’s really a D. So if you actually intend to see this movie, bring a pillow, or a book.