The pen is mightier than the sword, well my words will cut like the sharpest of knives. For all of you who have misspent eight dollars on Passion of the Christ I’m sorry. It is the worst idea for a film since Dude Where’s My Car. When I wasn’t bored out of mind, I was close to throwing up from the gore. But I’m not here to slam a movie, I’m here to give you the perspective of a people who have been persecuted for thousands of years. Not just persecuted but slaughtered over the story of Jesus of Nazareth. These people I speak of, are my people, the villians in this low end movie, the Jewish people. We may make up less than one percent of the population, but we are a tough bunch that have survived far worse. For those who haven’t see Passions of the Chist it is basically a two hour movie that shoves down your throat the “fact” that the Jews killed Jesus. Which is insane because the Romans did it. One of my favorite scenes is a huge Jewish mob screaming “crucify him! Crucify him!” While Pontias Pilate looks confused and even regrets giving the order to end Jesus’ life. Now according to actual history Mr. Pilate loved a good crucifixtion and actually loved anything remotely violent whether it be a riot, a murder. In fact he was so violent that Caesar removed him from any kind of power.
When I went to see this movie I was with a friend that is Christian not Jewish. About forty minutes into it, I started thinking; when Jesus isn’t covered in blood and sweat and whip lacerations, he’s kind of hot. So I leaned over to her and said; when Jesus isn’t covered in blood and sweat and whip lacerations, Jesus is kind of hot. I did not know this but apparantly commenting on an actors appearance is blasphemy. Now about Jesus’ make up it was actualy pretty good for a $25 million dollar movie. However the acting was cheesy. I got the feeling that the actors had no idea what they were saying, which is very likely seeing as the entire this is in Araimaic with English subtitles. Oops I wasn’t supposed to say that now the slow readers won’t go. Oh well. Another thing with the movie is the slow motion shots, could Mel Gibson have done more close up slow motion shots, thats what most of the movie is anyway. it’s so slow that forty minutes of the movie is Jesus getting the crap kicked out of him, another thirty getting wipped and yet another thirty dragging the damn cross. Any artistic taste Mr. Gibson showed in The Patriot or Braveheart is gone.
Bow by the time you get to the actual sentencing of Jesus, people we’re crying. When he finally died, the entire theater was wetter than the set of Titanic. I however had to keep from laughing. Why you may ask? Well right before Jesus dies it starts raining, that’s fine and dandy, I can see how you can use weather to easily manipulate people’s feelings, however therein is the movies only computer generated image. A really fake looking raindrop with Jesus’ reflection in the middle. If not for the fact that it looks fake is bad enough, it gets worse. The raindrop stops midscreen so the camera can do and I am not joking, a Matrix turn. Everyone is crying, I nearly died trying to keep the laughter in. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Mel Gibson has nailed the coffin of his career. May that career rest unpeacfully.
Thank you,
Naomi Liebson