With spring classes winding down, the heat turning up, and boredom setting in, the summer blockbusters of 2006 are just around the corner. There has been a lot of talk about the apparent lack of a heavy hitter this summer, but I’ve put together a list of movies you should either check out or stay as far away as possible from.The summer really gets going on May 19, will the opening of “The Da Vinci Code,” staring Tom Hanks. Adapted from the best selling book, “The Da Vinci Code” is a sure fire early summer hit.
However, the biggest splash at the box office in May should come from “X3: The Last Stand.” The third installment of the ultra successful Marvel series is set for a climactic showdown between The X-Men and Magneto’s Brotherhood of Mutants. Once again starring Halle Berry, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart, X3 looks to be a lock for early summer success.
June gets going early with “The Breakup,” a cute, funny date movie starring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. The plot centers around a condo neither party wants to give up following a break up. To be honest, the script could be complete rubbish, but with adorable Anniston and funny man Vaughn, the movie will be worth, at worst, a rental once it hits shelves.
The summer’s first serious horror movie will roll out on June 6. It’s no coincidence that for the remake of “The Omen,” starring Julia Stiles, the release date would be 06/06/06. The remake should be much scarier than the cheese-fest that was released as the original.
June will also feature the return of Superman in, naturally, “Superman Returns.” Kate Bosworth and Kevin Spacey are the big names in the not a remake but not completely original movie. Superman is slated to be played by no-name actor Brandon Routh, whom you all might recognize from, well, absolutely nothing, because that is just about the amount of experience he has.
Other smaller films to look for in June are “The Devil Wears Prada” and “Wassup Rockers.”
There are a few movies to stay away from in June. “Nacho Libre,” the latest film from the gang that brought you “Napoleon Dynamite,” looks to be a complete dud. From all indications the movie is pretty much the same as its predecessor, dumb, but steers away from “Dynamite” in the department of being funny. Other movies to stay away from include “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift” and anything that Adam Sandler releases.
July starts off quick with another installment of The Pirates of the Caribbean with “Dead Man’s Chest.” Bringing back stars Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly, the pirate film looks to be in good shape, a definite must see for all the Depp obsessed people.
The only other movie that seems to have much buzz in July right now has it for all the wrong reasons. “Miami Vice,” yes, you read that right, is due out July 28, starring Colin Farrell and Jamie Fox. I think we have established that TV show movies just don’t work (“Dukes of Hazard,” “Beverly Hillbillies”), but this will be a first attempt at adapting a show from the 80s. The original Vice series was about as cheesy as they come. Penny loafer wearing cops chasing cons on speedboats while making sure not to get their pink blazers or perfect hair wet. The movie may be entertaining, but I can’t see it getting off the ground with all the bad press it has received thus far.
August starts off with a dark horse challenger for comedy of the summer with “Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby.” The NASCAR sponsored movie stars Will Ferrell and should look to be much better than Ferrell’s more recent stabs at comedy. Look for plenty of cameos from your favorite NASCAR drivers.
August will also bring us Oliver Stone’s “World Trade Center,” which will cover the events of 9/11 in a dramatic fashion. Starring Nicholas Cage and Maria Bello, you can be certain this sure-fire tearjerker will be at the top of every critic’s must see list.
Out in August are the comedies “Clerks 2” and “Beerfest.” “Clerks 2” is the sequel to the breakthrough film by director Kevin Smith (“Clerks,” “Dogma,” and “Chasing Amy”). Judging by the initial trailer, this sequel should be just as good as the original. Also look for Rosario Dawson to join the cast along with all your Kevin Smith favorites.
“Beerfest” is the latest comedy from the Broken Lizard guys who brought you “Super Troopers,” “Club Dread,” and “Puddle Cruiser.” The beerfest plot revolves around two brothers who travel to Germany only to be caught in a competition that is like “Fight Club with beer.”
Any of these movies could be great and any of them could bomb, but the only sure fire dud of the season has to be Samuel L. Jackson in (drum roll please) “Snakes on a Plane,” which is about, well, snakes getting on a plane. I’m sure there is an elaborate plot for an assassination of a high up and that’s why there are snakes on a plane, or maybe St. Patrick is over-nighting the buggers out of Ireland. In any regard, “Snakes on a Plane” looks just awful, almost too awful. This film looks to be headed towards cult status, so don’t be surprised six months from now if all your roommates do is drink beer and watch “Snakes” over and over again.
Look ahead to the next issue where we will cover some of the lower budget movies not to miss this summer.