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My World: Insert funny line here

“My World” is supposed to be a section of the paper for one writer to express his or her feeling on the climate of today’s world in the political, social, economic, entertainment and/or scholastic realms. As one of the few returning staff members to the Activist this year, I thought long and hard about how I would start this section off for the year. What political candidate or cable news pundit would I tackle? What unjust war would I try to open the students’ eyes to? As I was sitting at the bar Saturday night, something occurred to me: I don’t want to do that. The space for this article in the paper has already been appropriated to me, so I am going to use it, but not to rant on about my political or social ideals. I don’t feel like getting up on that soap box this week. Besides it’s a really tall climb. Instead, as I sat at the bar, I made a list of things that I like and don’t like, and I submit them to you, the reader, not for your approval but because I have to fill this space somehow.

I DON’T like being stuck behind a car on the street that is letting everyone in the parking lot pull out in front of me.

I DON’T like it when the football game I am watching is constantly interrupted by updates from a game I don’t care about. If I wanted to watch that game, I would be.

I DO like it when Burger King lets me have it my way.

I DON’T like it when people put down Skyline Chili.

I DO like it when a girl doesn’t take long to get ready but looks great.

I DON’T like it when drunk guys at bars think I am their best friend five minutes after meeting me. Dude, if you touch me again you’re gonna wear that next shot of Jager.

I DO like it when girls at bars think I am their best friend five minutes after meeting me. Girl, if you keep talking to me, I think I might have to buy you another drink.

I DON’T like it when girls travel in large packs..anywhere. Sorry, there’s just something scary about that.

I DON’T like it when I have to explain every darn thing to a person during a movie or game. Just shut up and pay attention!

I DON’T like the Bengals’ orange jerseys; I think they look like orange cream pops.

I DO like when girls wear Bengals jerseys.

I DON’T like when girls wear pink Bengals jerseys, You are emasculating football!

I DO like it when Jon Stewart makes fun of Bill O’Reilly.

I DON’T like it when Bill O’Reilly thinks he is funny.

I DON’T like the number 24 or anything associated with it, yes even the show.

I DO like the number 8 and most things associated with that.

I DON’T like the color combination of black and gold and think it should be outlawed by Congress.

I DO like the fact that Ray Lewis is insane.

I DO like Guinness, a lot of Guinness.

I DON’T like Etch-a-Sketches. You can never draw a circle.

I DON’T like teams who call themselves the Browns but their helmets are orange.

I DON’T like Celebrity news programs. Who cares if Paris Hilton is easy and that Lohan girl likes to wreck cars. I know plenty of people in this city who are like that.

I DON’T like parking ten miles away from RWC in the morning. Can’t we get some more kids to drop out so I can park closer?

I DON’T like reality television.

I DON’T like when my favorite shirt shrinks

I DO like the bad guys more than the good guys.

I DON’T like the fact that lightsabers and hover boards aren’t real.

I DON’T like when chick flicks choke me up.

I DO like violence and nudity in the same movie.

I absolutely LOVE screaming at the top of my lungs.

I definitely HATE the designated hitter rule.

I LOVE girls who swear, smoke and can drink more than me.

I HATE the fact that the best thing on TV. this weekend was “Drive Me Crazy.” God, why do I like that movie and Melissa Joan Hart’s lazy eye.

I Do like lazy eyes.

I HATE Bill Cowher.

I LOVE Cincinnati and most of the people in it

And finally–I LOVE the fact that I am done with this.