“You got what?!”My heart dropped into my black Converse. This was awful, an unbelievable disaster. I’d hoped and prayed that this would never happen. I’d always figured that the odds were against it. As if those god-awful shoes weren’t enough.
The image of my father standing in the kitchen was horrifying to me. Not only was he wearing his crocs adorned with the Ohio State emblem, but he now paired them with a Snuggie-an Ohio state Snuggie, nonetheless. If that image doesn’t scare you, I don’t know what will.
It’s time, America. I can’t sit back and watch this crime of fashion go unpunished. Now, I know that Snuggies appeared around the time of the recession. So I suppose I can let it slide since everyone was a little bit crazy at the time. But, honestly, this whole phase needs to end.
Let’s face the facts: Snuggies are nothing more than bathrobes that you wear backwards. I mean, even the commercial is creepy. Why would you want to buy a product whose commercial is basically asking you to join what looks like a cult full of people who are blissfully unaware of their own stupidity?
It’s time, America, to stop pretending as if other countries are going to take us seriously when we market products like the Snuggie (or Pajama Jeans. Don’t get me started).
So this is my call to action. I say, burn your Snuggies. Encourage others to do so as well and if they refuse, burn their Snuggie for them.
As for my father’s Snuggie, I might just have to find a few matches and “misplace” his Snuggie. Permanently.