To those who remember the $2 Corner last year with Steve Barnes, Michael Youn is back. Not on a regular basis, but just this once, I thought I would drop in from Ann Arbor and see a movie with the lady of my dreams, Amanda Rinear. This time around however, Amanda and I decided to see not a $2, but a $5.50 matinee (to still be entertained and also be able to afford the cost of living as a poor college student) . Also on a side note, this review will not contain tips on what alcoholic beverages to consume and the best type of clothes to wear to smuggle the beverages in like the $2 Corners of academic years past.
On to the review! Sugar and Spice, the story of bank robbing cheerleaders which seems to play on every single stereotype, is hardly a movie worth seeing or spending $5.50 during the matinee.
The story consists of a closely knit group of white suburban high school cheerleaders who share more personalities than a schizophrenic. You have the leader of the bunch, Diane (played by Marley Shelton, a Heather Graham twin), who gets pregnant by the star quarterback of the school, Jack, played by James Marsden (get it? Jack and Diane? From the John Mellancamp song? Oh never mind).
Like the Madonna song “Papa Don’t Preach,” Diane has made up her mind to keep the baby, which thus will require a lot of money, something that high school kids would not be typically loaded with. The cheerleaders make a pact or oath of allegiance to go on a heist together after watching the movie “Point Break.” Apparently they have the idea that dressing up with rubber Betty masks while holding up a bank is foolproof (it isn’t). After all, what do the other cheerleaders have to do or lose from this, right?
They’re all two-dimensional characters. You have Kansas (Mena Suvari), a tough talking girl whose mother is serving a life term because she killed her husband after finding him with another nurse in the other room while she was giving birth; Hannah (Rachel Blanchard), the churchgoer, who also has a strong interest in horses (much deeper than you think); Cleo (Melissa George), a Conan O’Brien obsesso ( a joke that wasn’t funny the first time and is never throughout the movie); and Lucy (Sarah George), whose main concern is only getting into Harvard. There’s also Lisa (Marla Sokoloff), a B squad cheerleader, who would do anything to make the A squad. She discovers the girls’ hideous crime and somehow pops up at the most inopportune time to try to expose them.
It’s hard to have any feelings or attachment to any of the characters because none of them remotely resembles a human being. Even the freaks and geeks (no relation to the cancelled NBC show, which I was sad to see go), who might have at least resembled something human, just re-enact the stereotypes placed upon them.
With all these critical remarks, it is a wonder to see how the movie presented any entertainment value. It didn’t. Besides a few funny comments, this movie lacked any components of decency to make it to the C grade. Overall, I give Sugar and Spice an F and spending time with Amanda an A. I’m your host Michael Youn and this is the Matinee Spot.
Sugar and Spice is rated PG-13 for sex-related humor, language, and thematic elements.