In a violent coup yesterday, Activist students seized control of the newspaper, toppling the long running regime of Professor Mike Roos. “Death to tyrants!” Activist reporter Richard VanMeter was heard to exclaim, as he brandished his 1938 Underwood typewriter. The blood spattered machine apparently was used to assassinate Roos as he unsuspectingly entered Room 202 of Muntz Hall predictably a few minutes late for the Activist meeting on Tuesday. Roos was rushed to Bethesda North Hospital where he was briefly examined and pronounced dead by Dr. B.J. Petouti, a known Islamic fundamentalist in full sympathy with the Activist revolutionaries.
Back at RWC, meanwhile, a dispute raged among surviving staffers as to who would take control. One faction seemed to favor Edgar Wern, a well dressed though circumspect confirmed bachelor, who is in the habit of proclaiming his affinity for great architecture and young women.
Another faction preferred the bohemian approach of Richard VanMeter, who recently proclaimed himself to be the reincarnation of Jack Kerouac. Experts have warned that a split in the factions could result in chaos at the college with dangerous consequences. But no compromise seems in sight at this time.