To Catfish or Be Catfished?

We have all seen the commercials on TV for all sorts of dating websites, where people make accounts for themselves and “meet the loves of their lives.” However, the commercials don’t show how easy it is to make a fake account on one of these websites. I’m sure you’re all familiar with the TV series “Catfish,” but for those who aren’t, it’s basically a show about people who find love online but for some reason have never been able to meet the person that they’re communicating with. Seems fishy right? 

On the show, the hosts bring together people who have met online. The show features online “couples” in which one person wants to meet up and the other doesn’t. At times, “relationships” are many years long. Often times the show can be very intense, heart breaking, and even violent because of the different situations that the people are put in.

From a Catfish

The catfish, or “the unknown lovers,” is where the name come from. I have personally been a catfish. There was a time in my life where I was extremely insecure about myself because of my sexuality. Sometimes I would talk to people online and pretend I was someone else so that I could escape my own reality. This is something I still deal with today. I am no longer catfishing people—in fact that was about five years ago—but I still struggle sometimes with being open about my sexuality with new people I meet. There has always been this sense of insecurity because I’m afraid people will judge me based off of my sexual preference and not my character. But I’ve made a lot of progress, and I’m learning to deal with my own personal issues. Catfishing at the time was something I looked forward to though. Not the deceiving aspect but the feeling of being wanted by someone of the same sex made me feel secure.

People have to understand that it’s not good to feed off of your insecurities. Instead, work on building yourself up. The key is to take your time. Nothing comes easy and you have to work on your misfortunes day by day. When you recognize an issue that you’re having and not only address it but correct it, you not only feel better, but you become a better person. Be the person that you know you can be. If we work on improving ourselves then the world would be a better place. But, after this article I don’t want you to think that I’m bashing the show, or the people who are on the show, in any way. I personally really like the show Catfish but at the same time, it sucks that it exists.

From the Catfished

There was a time in my life where I was very insecure about the way I look, and the way I talked to people. I was in a sense socially awkward with people. I figured that if people didn’t see me, or see how awkward I am in person then maybe someone would like me. Sure enough someone did. Now you’re probably wondering how didn’t I catch on to the fact they were not who they said they were. How didn’t I ask the obvious question why won’t they video chat me, or meet up with me?  

Those who have been a victim of a catfish know what this feels like. For those who don’t, it is someone giving you attention in a way that makes you feel special. It helps a lot that in a way they don’t know what you look like or how you act around people. The only things they know are what you’ve been willing to tell them. The attention helps to bring up self confidence, and once you’ve built sort of a “relationship” with the person its natural to want to meet them in person. Yet once it comes to making the plans, and then the other person making excuse after excuse, it begins to get strange. It got to the point where I simply asked what was going on, and I asked for them to be completely honest with me. Hearing the truth killed the confidence that had been built up. It was as if someone just said that all the effort I had put into this was for nothing, and that everything they had said was a lie. Although they tried again and again to assure me that what they said wasn’t a lie, it still felt that way. After they came out to tell me they weren’t who they said they were, I stopped talking to them, but they continued to try. It got to the point where I simply had to tell them that they needed to stop talking to me, that I simply couldn’t handle it. Those who have been in this part of the catfish know the feeling, and know that it isn’t something anyone wants to feel. 

Conclusion

If you have ever been a catfish you know how exciting it to to find someone who likes you for who you are, even though you’re pretending to be someone else. From those who have been catfished, you know how hard it is to find out that a whole “relationship” was a lie. Although neither side of the catfish is good, the show catfish is entertaining to watch. It always great to watch the couples get together, and its is something that both a catfish and someone catfished wants. It becomes heartbreaking when the catfish is a catfish. Yet sometimes it works out and they are both who they said they were.